We had been going out for quite a while when we decided that we would like to go away for a little holiday. WELL!!!! My parents were absolutely outraged. My reputation would be ruined. They would be so ashamed of me. How could I ever think of something so disgusting - we weren't even engaged. Everyone would know and think lesser of me.........on and on it went. I cried. They cried. It was horrible.
Eventually I was allowed to go simply because Fred, T's father, said he would go with us. He was able to borrow a holiday cottage from a friend at Pebbly Beach on the NSW south coast. Fred had a very generous nature and remembered what it was like to be young and in love and thought it was stupid of my parents to be so autocratic. He didn't mind us disappearing for 'alone time' at all and was happy to sit and read and then chat with us when we did reappear.
I don't know what sort of chaperone my parents thought Fred would be, but it cleared their consciences and they even thought it was funny when I told them that T snored! Fred must have said something to them because they grudgingly allowed me to go away after that when we needed a break.
Hilariously one of my mother's friends sheepishly admitted that her daughter had gone away for a weekend with her boyfriend and Mutti, outstanding example of one-upmanship, said that Gabi had been going away for AGES.
We had all sorts of lovely little holidays away. In those days if a motel or hotel proprietor suspected that you weren't married, they could refuse to accommodate you, so I bought a $2 wedding ring which I wore whenever we had one of our sinful getaways.
One holiday which I shall never forget was when we decided to explore the Myall Lakes. T had a beige Hillman Hunter station wagon, a very ordinary little vehicle, but it managed to get us into serious 4 wheel drive territory. If we discovered a dried up creek bed, we would follow it and no bush track would stop that car. We found some beautiful spots which by now are probably covered in expensive houses.
On one occasion we followed a creek bed and ended on a spit of land that projected into the main lake. We got out of the car and were overwhelmed by the beauty of the place. The sun was shining, the water sparkling and you couldn't hear a sound apart from a gentle whistling. It took quite a while to discover that the whistling came from a hawk that was hovering above us. It was adjusting the feathers in its wings and the wind which was higher up than we were was whistling through the feathers. So beautiful.
We went camping and stayed in a leaking tent which was not pleasant. On another occasion we went camping and got so sunburnt that we ditched the tent and stayed at a motel which had airconditioning. We lay bright red and glowing, spread eagled on the bed and didn't even feel a tiny bit romantic.
Apart from the sunburn episode we had great times and felt it harder and harder to go back to our separate homes after a break away.
Friday, 23 August 2013
Thursday, 22 August 2013
Courting
We were 19 when we met - kids still, although we felt very grown up. It is only with hindsight that you realise you weren't.
We enjoyed ourselves going out, meeting friends and looking at the world through rose coloured glasses when planning our future together. I had jokingly proposed on our first date and there was some sort of agreement locked there in the back of our brains. We can't remember any sort of official proposal, we just assumed that we would be together forever.
We did a few crazy things that were great fun. In fact we still laugh about the prank we played quite early on in our relationship. We were at T's house, his parents were at a concert and we were sitting idly chatting with his sister Cathy who was waiting to be picked up to go to a party with a new boyfriend. Talk became silly. We decided that a new boyfriend should meet at least one of the parents and that I should pretend to be 'mother'.
This was all spur-of-the-moment and so we had to use what we could find to transform me from a slim, young looking 19 year old into a 'traditionally built' (to use an Alexander McCall Smith expression) middle aged woman.
T's mother used to wear shapeless house dresses which were coveralls when she was doing any type of housework or cooking. One of these 'delectable' garments was hanging on a hook so I put it on and stuffed a pillow down the front and did up the belt to hold the pillow in place. She also used to wear white socks rolled down with scuffs so I found the appropriate items and put them on. The scuffs were too small, but never mind. I powdered my face and hair and applied bright red lipstick.
T and his sister were in the dining room when I came in modelling the new look. We were all screaming with laughter when the doorbell rang. 'Go on, go on, answer the door, do it!!!' they gasped between gales of laughter, so I did.
T's house had a long corridor right down the middle. Sitting room, dining room and kitchen to the left and the bedrooms and bathroom were to the right. There was a large music room which was the width of the house at the end away from the front door. The front door was clear glass with a decorative security screen.
I quickly put on a pair of T's mother's glasses which were a la Edna Everidge and went to open the door. It wasn't so easy. The glasses were so strong that I couldn't see and the scuffs were so small they fell off, so I had to feel my way down the corridor shuffling to keep the scuffs on. The poor boy could see this lurching apparition through the glass. When I opened the door he looked fairly gobsmacked as far as I could tell. I established that he was 'Cathy's young man' and asked him to follow me into the dining room.
I could hear T and Cathy crying with laughter and then much to my surprise saw their blurred bodies hurtle across the corridor into the bathroom so I shuffled up the small hallway to the right which led to the bathroom with the new boyfriend following.
The poor young man. He thought he was going into a dining room and ended up in a bathroom where his date was sitting in the bath red faced and hysterical with tears streaming down her cheeks and her brother was doubled up with laughter on the toilet. He stood there absolutely confused until we could gather ourselves enough to explain the prank. Not surprisingly it was a once only date for Cathy.
Another time we were hosting a dinner party with our friends at my parents' house (my parents were out). In those days everyone smoked a lot and drank like fish. We had feasted to excess and had lots to drink when someone realised they had some marijuana but couldn't smoke it because they didn't have any cigarette papers. No problem. I got my father's pipe and we all puffed away, just finishing and putting the pipe back in the drawer before my parents got home. My parents were pleased that everyone seemed so happy and my father especially enjoyed his next smoke.
Ah those were the days. We didn't have any real responsibilities and certainly enjoyed our lives.
We enjoyed ourselves going out, meeting friends and looking at the world through rose coloured glasses when planning our future together. I had jokingly proposed on our first date and there was some sort of agreement locked there in the back of our brains. We can't remember any sort of official proposal, we just assumed that we would be together forever.
We did a few crazy things that were great fun. In fact we still laugh about the prank we played quite early on in our relationship. We were at T's house, his parents were at a concert and we were sitting idly chatting with his sister Cathy who was waiting to be picked up to go to a party with a new boyfriend. Talk became silly. We decided that a new boyfriend should meet at least one of the parents and that I should pretend to be 'mother'.
This was all spur-of-the-moment and so we had to use what we could find to transform me from a slim, young looking 19 year old into a 'traditionally built' (to use an Alexander McCall Smith expression) middle aged woman.
T's mother used to wear shapeless house dresses which were coveralls when she was doing any type of housework or cooking. One of these 'delectable' garments was hanging on a hook so I put it on and stuffed a pillow down the front and did up the belt to hold the pillow in place. She also used to wear white socks rolled down with scuffs so I found the appropriate items and put them on. The scuffs were too small, but never mind. I powdered my face and hair and applied bright red lipstick.
T and his sister were in the dining room when I came in modelling the new look. We were all screaming with laughter when the doorbell rang. 'Go on, go on, answer the door, do it!!!' they gasped between gales of laughter, so I did.
T's house had a long corridor right down the middle. Sitting room, dining room and kitchen to the left and the bedrooms and bathroom were to the right. There was a large music room which was the width of the house at the end away from the front door. The front door was clear glass with a decorative security screen.
I quickly put on a pair of T's mother's glasses which were a la Edna Everidge and went to open the door. It wasn't so easy. The glasses were so strong that I couldn't see and the scuffs were so small they fell off, so I had to feel my way down the corridor shuffling to keep the scuffs on. The poor boy could see this lurching apparition through the glass. When I opened the door he looked fairly gobsmacked as far as I could tell. I established that he was 'Cathy's young man' and asked him to follow me into the dining room.
I could hear T and Cathy crying with laughter and then much to my surprise saw their blurred bodies hurtle across the corridor into the bathroom so I shuffled up the small hallway to the right which led to the bathroom with the new boyfriend following.
The poor young man. He thought he was going into a dining room and ended up in a bathroom where his date was sitting in the bath red faced and hysterical with tears streaming down her cheeks and her brother was doubled up with laughter on the toilet. He stood there absolutely confused until we could gather ourselves enough to explain the prank. Not surprisingly it was a once only date for Cathy.
Another time we were hosting a dinner party with our friends at my parents' house (my parents were out). In those days everyone smoked a lot and drank like fish. We had feasted to excess and had lots to drink when someone realised they had some marijuana but couldn't smoke it because they didn't have any cigarette papers. No problem. I got my father's pipe and we all puffed away, just finishing and putting the pipe back in the drawer before my parents got home. My parents were pleased that everyone seemed so happy and my father especially enjoyed his next smoke.
Ah those were the days. We didn't have any real responsibilities and certainly enjoyed our lives.
Sunday, 11 August 2013
Courting and meeting T's parents
T was a bit nervous about my meeting his parents as he had never brought a girlfriend home before. Any girls who had been at his place were simply friends.
It was during the day that I first went to T's place. Only his father was at home as his mother was out at a concert with friends. T told me that I would know pretty soon if his father liked me or not because he would go off to his study to work if it was thumbs down.
Fred was very charming and in his old fashioned way kissed my hand when we met. He used to do this to all women and it was interesting to watch how reasonably stern women would end up giggling and blushing like schoolgirls. I don't think I giggled but I probably blushed - it was the bane of my life.
T had told him that I spoke German so he tested that out. I spoke good German in those days and got his jokes, even those with double meanings, so he was pleased. We chatted for ages, had a cup of tea and finally T had to drag me away because we were meeting up with some friends. Fred liked me and I liked him. In fact I grew to really love him and am pleased to say the feeling was mutual.
T's mother was pretty unnerving when we met for the first time. She got my upper arms in a vice-like grip and stared at me and said, 'you are a very pretty girl' and didn't let go for ages. I broke out in a sweat, squirmed and blushed furiously. After that she was very pleasant and seemed pleased that I spoke German, had reasonable manners and wasn't a complete cretin.
T's sister Cathy was 16 and also still lived at home so I met her and we got on very well.
Within a few weeks I was invited to Sunday night dinner. We had grilled T-bone steak, rice, some sort of vegetable and bread and butter cucumbers. I had never eaten as much meat as is in a T-bone and it didn't agree with me but I loved the bread and butter cucumbers. Afterwards there was cake for dessert. T's mother baked very well.
T's parents, unlike mine, didn't get on. T and his sister were used to the snide comments and tense undertones around the dinner table but I never felt completely comfortable so when the doctor put me on Valium for the stress I was experiencing at home, it helped there too.
T's parents often had family members over for afternoon tea on weekends so I was introduced to T's married older sister, his brother-in-law and their new baby boy all of whom were lovely. I also met his rather dotty uncle and aunt who had never had children.
We eventually got our parents together at my place. My mother was T's mother's equal at cake baking and the first meeting went well. The table was set with a hand embroidered tablecloth, afternoon tea sized linen napkins, fine bone china and silver cake service. Things T's family was familiar with. Strong coffee, whipped cream etc along with delicious cakes and lively discussions made an extremely pleasant afternoon much to T and my relief. These get togethers became more frequent at each other's houses. T and I often wouldn't stay but might come back hours later and afternoon tea would have spilled over into the evening with open sandwiches and cognac. It was marvellous that the parents got on. T's mother particularly liked my father, recognised that my mother was a good cook but didn't like her very much. Luckily Mutti didn't ever realise. Everyone (except T's mother) really liked Fred, T's father.
During the time my mother was being dreadful T's mother was very supportive. I even brought her a big bouquet of flowers because I was so grateful that she was being nice. Things, however, did not stay the same.
When she got back from Germany Mutti's attitude to T changed completely. As she got used to him she liked him more and more. T's mother on the other hand finally realised that I was going to be around on a permanent basis and liked me less and less. Her son, the apple of her eye, was, she thought, being dragged away from her. She put such stress on T that he would have dreadful migraines.
T's parents' relationship became ever more tense and after T and I had been going out for about a year, his mother decided to move and work in Vienna where her mother and two sisters still lived. Everyone heaved a sigh of relief.
It was during the day that I first went to T's place. Only his father was at home as his mother was out at a concert with friends. T told me that I would know pretty soon if his father liked me or not because he would go off to his study to work if it was thumbs down.
Fred was very charming and in his old fashioned way kissed my hand when we met. He used to do this to all women and it was interesting to watch how reasonably stern women would end up giggling and blushing like schoolgirls. I don't think I giggled but I probably blushed - it was the bane of my life.
T had told him that I spoke German so he tested that out. I spoke good German in those days and got his jokes, even those with double meanings, so he was pleased. We chatted for ages, had a cup of tea and finally T had to drag me away because we were meeting up with some friends. Fred liked me and I liked him. In fact I grew to really love him and am pleased to say the feeling was mutual.
T's mother was pretty unnerving when we met for the first time. She got my upper arms in a vice-like grip and stared at me and said, 'you are a very pretty girl' and didn't let go for ages. I broke out in a sweat, squirmed and blushed furiously. After that she was very pleasant and seemed pleased that I spoke German, had reasonable manners and wasn't a complete cretin.
T's sister Cathy was 16 and also still lived at home so I met her and we got on very well.
Within a few weeks I was invited to Sunday night dinner. We had grilled T-bone steak, rice, some sort of vegetable and bread and butter cucumbers. I had never eaten as much meat as is in a T-bone and it didn't agree with me but I loved the bread and butter cucumbers. Afterwards there was cake for dessert. T's mother baked very well.
T's parents, unlike mine, didn't get on. T and his sister were used to the snide comments and tense undertones around the dinner table but I never felt completely comfortable so when the doctor put me on Valium for the stress I was experiencing at home, it helped there too.
T's parents often had family members over for afternoon tea on weekends so I was introduced to T's married older sister, his brother-in-law and their new baby boy all of whom were lovely. I also met his rather dotty uncle and aunt who had never had children.
We eventually got our parents together at my place. My mother was T's mother's equal at cake baking and the first meeting went well. The table was set with a hand embroidered tablecloth, afternoon tea sized linen napkins, fine bone china and silver cake service. Things T's family was familiar with. Strong coffee, whipped cream etc along with delicious cakes and lively discussions made an extremely pleasant afternoon much to T and my relief. These get togethers became more frequent at each other's houses. T and I often wouldn't stay but might come back hours later and afternoon tea would have spilled over into the evening with open sandwiches and cognac. It was marvellous that the parents got on. T's mother particularly liked my father, recognised that my mother was a good cook but didn't like her very much. Luckily Mutti didn't ever realise. Everyone (except T's mother) really liked Fred, T's father.
During the time my mother was being dreadful T's mother was very supportive. I even brought her a big bouquet of flowers because I was so grateful that she was being nice. Things, however, did not stay the same.
When she got back from Germany Mutti's attitude to T changed completely. As she got used to him she liked him more and more. T's mother on the other hand finally realised that I was going to be around on a permanent basis and liked me less and less. Her son, the apple of her eye, was, she thought, being dragged away from her. She put such stress on T that he would have dreadful migraines.
T's parents' relationship became ever more tense and after T and I had been going out for about a year, his mother decided to move and work in Vienna where her mother and two sisters still lived. Everyone heaved a sigh of relief.
'Courting' and T meeting my parents
Probably before I was even aware, my parents realised that this new relationship was different from others I had had. My mother was particularly unhappy. T wasn't anything like the German boys she had probably decided were 'right' for me. T got a frosty reception when he turned up at our place, which was fairly often as he would bring me home from Uni if I finished late. Also we spent most of our weekends together.
The frosty reception was nothing compared to what happened a few weeks later. I always rang the doorbell when I came home even though I had a key and Mutti would open the door with a smile, if T was there with me the smile would immediately turn to tears. She wouldn't sob but would have tears running down her face and there would be much blowing of the nose. Certainly not welcoming behaviour. It made things really awful and I was pretty unhappy at home. My father was a bit more supportive although also not enamoured of the situation.
Mutti felt obliged to invite T to dinner every so often as I was having Sunday night dinner at his place from early on. We would be sitting around the table trying to have a civilised conversation but there were long silences with the only sound being the cutlery on the china, swallowing and my mother's nose blowing. Uncomfortable to say the least. Certainly not good for the digestion. My stomach was in such a turmoil that my doctor prescribed 'Valium' to deal with the situation.
My father was associated with various organisations, the airline Lufthansa being one. After T and I had been going out for several months somehow Vati was given a first class return trip to Germany. He couldn't go due to work commitments but my mother was able to go in his stead. It was decided she should go for 8 weeks so that she could manage to visit all her relatives and friends and spend a decent chunk of time with her mother who she hadn't seen for nearly 20 years.
I had never run a household or cooked on any regular basis so I was a bit nervous. Mutti bought me 'The Sun-Herald Australian And New Zealand Complete Book Of Cookery' which had just been published, wrote a few instructions and escaped the stressful situation of her daughter's unsuitable relationship by flying to Germany.
That was the best thing that could have happened. T spent a lot of time at our place and spoke with my father about politics, religion, current affairs, life in general and listened to stories of my father's incredible life. We included Vati when we went out on weekends, took him to the movies and generally had a good time free from the pressure Mutti had exerted.
Vati and I wrote letters to Mutti regularly and it was interesting to see how she was influenced by my father over that time. Originally her letters to us started 'Dear Walter, Gabi and Soda Bubbles (our cat)'. After about 4 weeks the letter started 'Dear Walter, Gabi, Soda Bubbles and T' and just before she came home it was 'Dear Walter, Gabi, T and Soda Bubbles'. T had surpassed the cat!!!!
Things had changed by the time Mutti came back from Germany. She brought a suitcase full of gifts and even had something for T although we can't exactly remember what it was, perhaps a beer stein.
She really tried hard to be civil and pretty much succeeded. By now T and I realised that we had a special relationship and so we brought both sets of parents together. T's parents were from Austria so they spoke German and had lots in common with mine, so that made things easier too.
Years later my mother apologised for her behaviour at the beginning of our relationship and I really appreciated her gesture.
The frosty reception was nothing compared to what happened a few weeks later. I always rang the doorbell when I came home even though I had a key and Mutti would open the door with a smile, if T was there with me the smile would immediately turn to tears. She wouldn't sob but would have tears running down her face and there would be much blowing of the nose. Certainly not welcoming behaviour. It made things really awful and I was pretty unhappy at home. My father was a bit more supportive although also not enamoured of the situation.
Mutti felt obliged to invite T to dinner every so often as I was having Sunday night dinner at his place from early on. We would be sitting around the table trying to have a civilised conversation but there were long silences with the only sound being the cutlery on the china, swallowing and my mother's nose blowing. Uncomfortable to say the least. Certainly not good for the digestion. My stomach was in such a turmoil that my doctor prescribed 'Valium' to deal with the situation.
My father was associated with various organisations, the airline Lufthansa being one. After T and I had been going out for several months somehow Vati was given a first class return trip to Germany. He couldn't go due to work commitments but my mother was able to go in his stead. It was decided she should go for 8 weeks so that she could manage to visit all her relatives and friends and spend a decent chunk of time with her mother who she hadn't seen for nearly 20 years.
I had never run a household or cooked on any regular basis so I was a bit nervous. Mutti bought me 'The Sun-Herald Australian And New Zealand Complete Book Of Cookery' which had just been published, wrote a few instructions and escaped the stressful situation of her daughter's unsuitable relationship by flying to Germany.
That was the best thing that could have happened. T spent a lot of time at our place and spoke with my father about politics, religion, current affairs, life in general and listened to stories of my father's incredible life. We included Vati when we went out on weekends, took him to the movies and generally had a good time free from the pressure Mutti had exerted.
Vati and I wrote letters to Mutti regularly and it was interesting to see how she was influenced by my father over that time. Originally her letters to us started 'Dear Walter, Gabi and Soda Bubbles (our cat)'. After about 4 weeks the letter started 'Dear Walter, Gabi, Soda Bubbles and T' and just before she came home it was 'Dear Walter, Gabi, T and Soda Bubbles'. T had surpassed the cat!!!!
Things had changed by the time Mutti came back from Germany. She brought a suitcase full of gifts and even had something for T although we can't exactly remember what it was, perhaps a beer stein.
She really tried hard to be civil and pretty much succeeded. By now T and I realised that we had a special relationship and so we brought both sets of parents together. T's parents were from Austria so they spoke German and had lots in common with mine, so that made things easier too.
Years later my mother apologised for her behaviour at the beginning of our relationship and I really appreciated her gesture.
Wednesday, 7 August 2013
1970 - meeting my future husband
I hadn't had many situations where I could go out with boys while I was at school. It was a single sex school that didn't have any sort of reciprocal agreement with a boys' school for dances as some of my friends' schools had. I did know quite a few boys through a German Lutheran church fellowship group, German Saturday school and other German social situations. I found out years later that some of these boys fancied me but were too shy to make some sort of approach. If they were so wishy washy I wouldn't have liked them anyway.
It was when I finished high school that I really got to meet boys. I went out with several I met when I was working during the holidays after high school and then had a whole series of boyfriends during my first year of Uni. They were a great distraction and did not help with good marks at exam time!
One fellow broke my heart when he dropped me. I was inconsolable for at least a couple of weeks until I decided I'd had enough with boys. I'd go out, have fun and not commit my heart to anyone EVER again.
I had a friend who was at Uni with me. We had been friends for as long as we could remember as our parents had known each other for years. Tricia's parents were going away during the holidays with Tricia's brothers and sister and asked if I could stay at their place to keep her company. We thought it was a good idea and were looking forward to staying up all hours watching TV, gossiping and doing whatever it was that we liked doing. It was the May Uni holidays so we didn't have any pressing assignments.
Tricia had been going out with a fellow who was at Uni with us called Graham and she was getting tired of him and was thinking of breaking up. He knew of the parents' absence and that I was staying with Tricia so asked his friend (who had a car) to drive him over to visit.
Tricia and I were just sitting talking when there was a knock and these two fellows turned up. Both Tricia and I were hospitable and brought out tea and cake and chatted. Graham's friend T complained that he had really sore legs because he had been playing soccer all morning, so I being innocent (stupidly naive really) told him to lie on the floor and that I would massage his legs! He obligingly lay down and I started working on one of his legs while Tricia decided to do the other.
After a while the boys had to go but Graham suggested we go on a double date which would be a picnic and horse riding. We all liked riding so it was agreed.
Later in the car T told Graham that he was happy to go as long as 'the little dark one' could be his partner as I was better at massaging!
It was probably a week later that we went for the horse riding date. Nobody had bothered to book and when we turned up all the horses were out. Things became rather uncomfortable as Tricia and Graham really weren't getting on, so fairly soon they asked to be taken home. T and I were alone. I guess we probably had fish and chips and a milkshake. We talked and talked and then had a bit of a snog in his car at the back of Lindfield oval where I jokingly proposed before he drove me home.
Apparently T was smitten. According to his sister he couldn't stop talking about me and that had never happened before, so her ears really pricked up. I on the other hand certainly liked T but had made the decision to never give my heart to anyone though was happy to go out and have a good time.
The first date T invited me to go on was a theatre production of 'The Canterbury Tales' which I just happened to be studying at the time - perfect! It was a terrific show which we both really enjoyed. Afterwards he took me to Double Bay for strawberry pancakes.
T had gone to work straight from school after he had shown an extraordinary aptitude for computing which was a new science in those days. He was excelling at his tertiary qualifications at tech at night. Because he was working T actually had money to spend in contrast to most of my friends. I was fortunate to have a scholarship, a university living allowance and money from cleaning Uncle Harry's flat and teaching German on Saturdays so I was relatively quite well off. T, however, never let me pay for anything and kept inviting me to irresistible venues.
We went to the exclusive 'Captain Cook's Floating Restaurant' on one date and on another occasion to 'Attilio's Cellar' in Elizabeth St in Sydney which was hugely expensive. Going there taught me to eat oysters. I had always resisted the visually unappealing molluscs as I thought they would be slimy and taste like phlegm, but at 'Attilio's Cellar' the seafood cocktail cost $3.50 which was outrageous considering an equivalent anywhere else was $1.95 so I just couldn't NOT eat them as there were 4 prawns and 3 oysters in the bowl. I discovered they were delicious and have loved them ever since.
We kept going out and much to my surprise realised we had been going out for about 15 weeks. I usually got tired of my male companions after 12 and would part ways. Whenever T and I were together the time would fly. We would talk and laugh a lot and on parting would look forward to being together again.
It was when I finished high school that I really got to meet boys. I went out with several I met when I was working during the holidays after high school and then had a whole series of boyfriends during my first year of Uni. They were a great distraction and did not help with good marks at exam time!
One fellow broke my heart when he dropped me. I was inconsolable for at least a couple of weeks until I decided I'd had enough with boys. I'd go out, have fun and not commit my heart to anyone EVER again.
I had a friend who was at Uni with me. We had been friends for as long as we could remember as our parents had known each other for years. Tricia's parents were going away during the holidays with Tricia's brothers and sister and asked if I could stay at their place to keep her company. We thought it was a good idea and were looking forward to staying up all hours watching TV, gossiping and doing whatever it was that we liked doing. It was the May Uni holidays so we didn't have any pressing assignments.
Tricia had been going out with a fellow who was at Uni with us called Graham and she was getting tired of him and was thinking of breaking up. He knew of the parents' absence and that I was staying with Tricia so asked his friend (who had a car) to drive him over to visit.
Tricia and I were just sitting talking when there was a knock and these two fellows turned up. Both Tricia and I were hospitable and brought out tea and cake and chatted. Graham's friend T complained that he had really sore legs because he had been playing soccer all morning, so I being innocent (stupidly naive really) told him to lie on the floor and that I would massage his legs! He obligingly lay down and I started working on one of his legs while Tricia decided to do the other.
After a while the boys had to go but Graham suggested we go on a double date which would be a picnic and horse riding. We all liked riding so it was agreed.
Later in the car T told Graham that he was happy to go as long as 'the little dark one' could be his partner as I was better at massaging!
It was probably a week later that we went for the horse riding date. Nobody had bothered to book and when we turned up all the horses were out. Things became rather uncomfortable as Tricia and Graham really weren't getting on, so fairly soon they asked to be taken home. T and I were alone. I guess we probably had fish and chips and a milkshake. We talked and talked and then had a bit of a snog in his car at the back of Lindfield oval where I jokingly proposed before he drove me home.
Apparently T was smitten. According to his sister he couldn't stop talking about me and that had never happened before, so her ears really pricked up. I on the other hand certainly liked T but had made the decision to never give my heart to anyone though was happy to go out and have a good time.
The first date T invited me to go on was a theatre production of 'The Canterbury Tales' which I just happened to be studying at the time - perfect! It was a terrific show which we both really enjoyed. Afterwards he took me to Double Bay for strawberry pancakes.
T had gone to work straight from school after he had shown an extraordinary aptitude for computing which was a new science in those days. He was excelling at his tertiary qualifications at tech at night. Because he was working T actually had money to spend in contrast to most of my friends. I was fortunate to have a scholarship, a university living allowance and money from cleaning Uncle Harry's flat and teaching German on Saturdays so I was relatively quite well off. T, however, never let me pay for anything and kept inviting me to irresistible venues.
We went to the exclusive 'Captain Cook's Floating Restaurant' on one date and on another occasion to 'Attilio's Cellar' in Elizabeth St in Sydney which was hugely expensive. Going there taught me to eat oysters. I had always resisted the visually unappealing molluscs as I thought they would be slimy and taste like phlegm, but at 'Attilio's Cellar' the seafood cocktail cost $3.50 which was outrageous considering an equivalent anywhere else was $1.95 so I just couldn't NOT eat them as there were 4 prawns and 3 oysters in the bowl. I discovered they were delicious and have loved them ever since.
We kept going out and much to my surprise realised we had been going out for about 15 weeks. I usually got tired of my male companions after 12 and would part ways. Whenever T and I were together the time would fly. We would talk and laugh a lot and on parting would look forward to being together again.
Sunday, 14 July 2013
Dreams
Everyone has dreams apparently but they don't always remember them. Years ago magazines had 'dream analysis' columns where you could find out what your dream meant. I have dreams and sometimes when I'm dreaming I think what an interesting dream it is and that I must remember it, but when I wake all I can remember is that I wanted to remember it - of the dream - no idea at all!
The reason I'm writing about dreams is that I did remember one the other day which made me feel very happy. I dreamt about my long gone mother and father-in-law. There was some sort of celebration and everyone was having a wine, except for my mother-in-law who wanted a complicated cocktail made using navel oranges. She always was a tricky person! It was so lovely hearing their voices again that as soon as I woke I had to tell my husband. I wonder why they popped into my mind, no special occasion was happening and we hadn't spoken about them for some time. I'm just glad that they visited.
When I was young I used to have very vivid dreams. In fact while Mrs Strang was my teacher in first and second grade I had nightmares nearly every night as well as walking in my sleep. My dreams were nearly all the same. I'd be walking up the hill to Clitheroe flats and then see I was being chased by wolves. I'd run and run, get to the kitchen door, fling it open, rush inside and try to slam the door shut but the wolves would be pushing against the door and their paws would be coming around the edge. At this point I'd wake in fright drenched in sweat and crying. Mutti would come and cuddle me back to sleep.
Another recurring dream I had was that I could fly. When I was little it was so real that I actually believed I could fly! In the dream I would fall forward and then skim about 30cm above the ground. If there was an obstacle I could just glide over it. It was a lovely dream, very relaxing to go skimming over the ground. One day I decided to test if I could actually fly like that so I climbed onto the garbage bin and just tipped myself forward. In the dream my hands were always by my sides, so when I tipped forward I didn't try to catch myself but instead of floating there, went SPLAT onto the concrete. I really messed my face up badly. I tried to explain why I did what I did to Mutti when I went inside crying and bleeding profusely. She must have worried that there was something wrong in my head.
I did have a similar flying dream for years and when I looked up the dream analysis at some time I think it said that it was a positive thing. Certainly I enjoyed those dreams.
When I was at Uni I had recurring bad dreams of turning up to exams realising that I hadn't been to the lectures or tutorials for the whole year and that I had no idea what the questions were about. It was horrible and I would wake up in an absolute lather. Even these days if I am particularly stressed that dream will come creeping.
Before I got married I had a dream that I was dressed in all my wedding finery when I realised I didn't have any wedding shoes. I rushed to the shoe store, wedding gown and veil billowing but just as I got there the shop would shut in my face. Every shoe shop would shut as I got there. As a consequence, when I came to buy my wedding outfit, I bought the shoes first!
I've had all sorts of dreams, some nice and others not. I've mainly remembered the horrible ones and have been pleased that they are dreams and not any sort of reality.
It is fascinating to speculate why one's brain manufactures these vivid pictures. No wonder there are specialist dream analysts. I bet they get to hear lots of interesting stories and have a ball telling the dreamer what it all means.
The reason I'm writing about dreams is that I did remember one the other day which made me feel very happy. I dreamt about my long gone mother and father-in-law. There was some sort of celebration and everyone was having a wine, except for my mother-in-law who wanted a complicated cocktail made using navel oranges. She always was a tricky person! It was so lovely hearing their voices again that as soon as I woke I had to tell my husband. I wonder why they popped into my mind, no special occasion was happening and we hadn't spoken about them for some time. I'm just glad that they visited.
When I was young I used to have very vivid dreams. In fact while Mrs Strang was my teacher in first and second grade I had nightmares nearly every night as well as walking in my sleep. My dreams were nearly all the same. I'd be walking up the hill to Clitheroe flats and then see I was being chased by wolves. I'd run and run, get to the kitchen door, fling it open, rush inside and try to slam the door shut but the wolves would be pushing against the door and their paws would be coming around the edge. At this point I'd wake in fright drenched in sweat and crying. Mutti would come and cuddle me back to sleep.
Another recurring dream I had was that I could fly. When I was little it was so real that I actually believed I could fly! In the dream I would fall forward and then skim about 30cm above the ground. If there was an obstacle I could just glide over it. It was a lovely dream, very relaxing to go skimming over the ground. One day I decided to test if I could actually fly like that so I climbed onto the garbage bin and just tipped myself forward. In the dream my hands were always by my sides, so when I tipped forward I didn't try to catch myself but instead of floating there, went SPLAT onto the concrete. I really messed my face up badly. I tried to explain why I did what I did to Mutti when I went inside crying and bleeding profusely. She must have worried that there was something wrong in my head.
I did have a similar flying dream for years and when I looked up the dream analysis at some time I think it said that it was a positive thing. Certainly I enjoyed those dreams.
When I was at Uni I had recurring bad dreams of turning up to exams realising that I hadn't been to the lectures or tutorials for the whole year and that I had no idea what the questions were about. It was horrible and I would wake up in an absolute lather. Even these days if I am particularly stressed that dream will come creeping.
Before I got married I had a dream that I was dressed in all my wedding finery when I realised I didn't have any wedding shoes. I rushed to the shoe store, wedding gown and veil billowing but just as I got there the shop would shut in my face. Every shoe shop would shut as I got there. As a consequence, when I came to buy my wedding outfit, I bought the shoes first!
I've had all sorts of dreams, some nice and others not. I've mainly remembered the horrible ones and have been pleased that they are dreams and not any sort of reality.
It is fascinating to speculate why one's brain manufactures these vivid pictures. No wonder there are specialist dream analysts. I bet they get to hear lots of interesting stories and have a ball telling the dreamer what it all means.
Sunday, 23 June 2013
Cremorne Girls' High School
In 1963 I started high school. At the end of the previous year all students received a letter informing them of their future high school. Cremorne Girls' High was a government school with a good reputation and most of the girls in my class were going there so I was pretty pleased.
Some girls went to Mosman High which was a vocational school where girls learnt typing and other subjects which readied them for the workforce.
The school sent out information brochures including the strict school rules as well as a long list of uniform items that needed to be bought. We were all to turn up on the first day wearing full uniform or there would be trouble!
In the Christmas school holidays my mother took me to buy the required uniforms. I can't quite remember the name of the department store, 'Gowings' or 'McDowell's', in the city in Sydney, which was the uniform specialist. Neither store exists anymore as far as I know.
As we were really quite poor this was a huge expenditure for my parents so my mother had saved up and had a wad of pound notes in her purse to pay for it all. I didn't really appreciate the financial sacrifice this must have been for my parents and was just really excited to be going into town for a 'shop till you drop' day.
Whatever the store, it was chock-a-block with uniforms and students being fitted out. Shop assistants rushed about carrying armfuls of uniform items with mothers and their children milling about. If I remember correctly it was all fairly frantic.
We announced that I was going to Cremorne Girls' and the assistant brought out the uniform items I would need. I had to try everything on first of course. Two blue summer uniforms - these frocks were supposed to suit everyone and therefore suited nobody. Shapeless and with buttons all the way down the front, a Peter Pan collar and a buttoned belt of the same fabric. The buttons were removable with a key ring type of gadget at the back that held them in place. Over time people lost the buttons or the ring for the back so that dresses were held shut with safety pins ( this would earn you a detention). Also as boobs grew the dresses would gape at the bust. They really were very unflattering.
Continuing the unflattering, the PE tunic was ghastly and disliked by just about everyone. It was blue also. Sleeveless with a v neck it had to be, according to the instructions in the information booklet, '4 inches from the ground'. The instruction booklet neglected to add 'when kneeling' and we used to laugh and speculate what a teacher would say if we turned up in a long dress. The highlight of the PE uniform was the bloomers that were worn under the tunic. Big and boofy we hated them but we had to wear them for decorum.
Next came a navy blue blazer which had to be worn to school whatever the weather. A smooth cream straw school hat, which under the brim, was navy with a fine pale blue stripe, several pairs of white ankle socks and navy gloves were the final items we bought at that store. My mother's supply of pounds was fast diminishing but we still needed new shoes which we bought at David Jones.
We also had to purchase a special outfit for 'home economics'. This consisted of a white wrap-around garment which covered our uniforms completely, and a white cap which covered our hair. Although we only had home economics for six months we were expected to buy the outfit. Luckily Joan, one of our neighbours was a Cremorne girl also, a few years older than me, was able to sell us her whites at a much discounted price. I in turn, gave Pamela, another neighbour, the same outfit when she started at Cremorne several years later.
We would have had lunch somewhere as a treat before travelling home by bus to Circular Quay and then by ferry to Mosman Wharf followed by the walk to the flats.
When my father came home from work I modelled my new uniform and of course he made all the appropriate complimentary noises.
On the first day of school we all turned up in our new uniforms. It was easy to tell the newbies because we didn't have hatbands on our smooth cream hats, which looked like pudding basins with brims, or crests on our blazers. These items could be bought at school and were eagerly sewn on hats and blazers that night. As soon as we knew which house we were in we could also buy the appropriately coloured cord for our PE uniforms. I was in Ashton house and had a green cord.
We were put in our various class groups hoping madly that a friend was in the same class and then shown around the school. I thought it was all very exciting. We didn't have to move between classrooms very much in that first year as the teachers came to us. We did have to stand whenever a teacher came into the room, but we were used to doing that from primary school. All our new teachers gave us long lists of exercise books which we needed to buy and handed out text books which all had to be recorded and then covered at home.
At recess and lunch we found our friends and found a place to sit where we weren't encroaching on a more senior's space and discussed who our 'home' teachers were and if they seemed nice or not.
Finally the first day ended and appropriately hatted and gloved I trudged home weighed down by my stack of text books and the confusing new information about timetables, teachers' names and things I had to buy. I was looking forward to telling my parents all about my latest educational adventure.
Some girls went to Mosman High which was a vocational school where girls learnt typing and other subjects which readied them for the workforce.
The school sent out information brochures including the strict school rules as well as a long list of uniform items that needed to be bought. We were all to turn up on the first day wearing full uniform or there would be trouble!
In the Christmas school holidays my mother took me to buy the required uniforms. I can't quite remember the name of the department store, 'Gowings' or 'McDowell's', in the city in Sydney, which was the uniform specialist. Neither store exists anymore as far as I know.
As we were really quite poor this was a huge expenditure for my parents so my mother had saved up and had a wad of pound notes in her purse to pay for it all. I didn't really appreciate the financial sacrifice this must have been for my parents and was just really excited to be going into town for a 'shop till you drop' day.
Whatever the store, it was chock-a-block with uniforms and students being fitted out. Shop assistants rushed about carrying armfuls of uniform items with mothers and their children milling about. If I remember correctly it was all fairly frantic.
We announced that I was going to Cremorne Girls' and the assistant brought out the uniform items I would need. I had to try everything on first of course. Two blue summer uniforms - these frocks were supposed to suit everyone and therefore suited nobody. Shapeless and with buttons all the way down the front, a Peter Pan collar and a buttoned belt of the same fabric. The buttons were removable with a key ring type of gadget at the back that held them in place. Over time people lost the buttons or the ring for the back so that dresses were held shut with safety pins ( this would earn you a detention). Also as boobs grew the dresses would gape at the bust. They really were very unflattering.
Continuing the unflattering, the PE tunic was ghastly and disliked by just about everyone. It was blue also. Sleeveless with a v neck it had to be, according to the instructions in the information booklet, '4 inches from the ground'. The instruction booklet neglected to add 'when kneeling' and we used to laugh and speculate what a teacher would say if we turned up in a long dress. The highlight of the PE uniform was the bloomers that were worn under the tunic. Big and boofy we hated them but we had to wear them for decorum.
Next came a navy blue blazer which had to be worn to school whatever the weather. A smooth cream straw school hat, which under the brim, was navy with a fine pale blue stripe, several pairs of white ankle socks and navy gloves were the final items we bought at that store. My mother's supply of pounds was fast diminishing but we still needed new shoes which we bought at David Jones.
We also had to purchase a special outfit for 'home economics'. This consisted of a white wrap-around garment which covered our uniforms completely, and a white cap which covered our hair. Although we only had home economics for six months we were expected to buy the outfit. Luckily Joan, one of our neighbours was a Cremorne girl also, a few years older than me, was able to sell us her whites at a much discounted price. I in turn, gave Pamela, another neighbour, the same outfit when she started at Cremorne several years later.
We would have had lunch somewhere as a treat before travelling home by bus to Circular Quay and then by ferry to Mosman Wharf followed by the walk to the flats.
When my father came home from work I modelled my new uniform and of course he made all the appropriate complimentary noises.
On the first day of school we all turned up in our new uniforms. It was easy to tell the newbies because we didn't have hatbands on our smooth cream hats, which looked like pudding basins with brims, or crests on our blazers. These items could be bought at school and were eagerly sewn on hats and blazers that night. As soon as we knew which house we were in we could also buy the appropriately coloured cord for our PE uniforms. I was in Ashton house and had a green cord.
We were put in our various class groups hoping madly that a friend was in the same class and then shown around the school. I thought it was all very exciting. We didn't have to move between classrooms very much in that first year as the teachers came to us. We did have to stand whenever a teacher came into the room, but we were used to doing that from primary school. All our new teachers gave us long lists of exercise books which we needed to buy and handed out text books which all had to be recorded and then covered at home.
At recess and lunch we found our friends and found a place to sit where we weren't encroaching on a more senior's space and discussed who our 'home' teachers were and if they seemed nice or not.
Finally the first day ended and appropriately hatted and gloved I trudged home weighed down by my stack of text books and the confusing new information about timetables, teachers' names and things I had to buy. I was looking forward to telling my parents all about my latest educational adventure.
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