Probably before I was even aware, my parents realised that this new relationship was different from others I had had. My mother was particularly unhappy. T wasn't anything like the German boys she had probably decided were 'right' for me. T got a frosty reception when he turned up at our place, which was fairly often as he would bring me home from Uni if I finished late. Also we spent most of our weekends together.
The frosty reception was nothing compared to what happened a few weeks later. I always rang the doorbell when I came home even though I had a key and Mutti would open the door with a smile, if T was there with me the smile would immediately turn to tears. She wouldn't sob but would have tears running down her face and there would be much blowing of the nose. Certainly not welcoming behaviour. It made things really awful and I was pretty unhappy at home. My father was a bit more supportive although also not enamoured of the situation.
Mutti felt obliged to invite T to dinner every so often as I was having Sunday night dinner at his place from early on. We would be sitting around the table trying to have a civilised conversation but there were long silences with the only sound being the cutlery on the china, swallowing and my mother's nose blowing. Uncomfortable to say the least. Certainly not good for the digestion. My stomach was in such a turmoil that my doctor prescribed 'Valium' to deal with the situation.
My father was associated with various organisations, the airline Lufthansa being one. After T and I had been going out for several months somehow Vati was given a first class return trip to Germany. He couldn't go due to work commitments but my mother was able to go in his stead. It was decided she should go for 8 weeks so that she could manage to visit all her relatives and friends and spend a decent chunk of time with her mother who she hadn't seen for nearly 20 years.
I had never run a household or cooked on any regular basis so I was a bit nervous. Mutti bought me 'The Sun-Herald Australian And New Zealand Complete Book Of Cookery' which had just been published, wrote a few instructions and escaped the stressful situation of her daughter's unsuitable relationship by flying to Germany.
That was the best thing that could have happened. T spent a lot of time at our place and spoke with my father about politics, religion, current affairs, life in general and listened to stories of my father's incredible life. We included Vati when we went out on weekends, took him to the movies and generally had a good time free from the pressure Mutti had exerted.
Vati and I wrote letters to Mutti regularly and it was interesting to see how she was influenced by my father over that time. Originally her letters to us started 'Dear Walter, Gabi and Soda Bubbles (our cat)'. After about 4 weeks the letter started 'Dear Walter, Gabi, Soda Bubbles and T' and just before she came home it was 'Dear Walter, Gabi, T and Soda Bubbles'. T had surpassed the cat!!!!
Things had changed by the time Mutti came back from Germany. She brought a suitcase full of gifts and even had something for T although we can't exactly remember what it was, perhaps a beer stein.
She really tried hard to be civil and pretty much succeeded. By now T and I realised that we had a special relationship and so we brought both sets of parents together. T's parents were from Austria so they spoke German and had lots in common with mine, so that made things easier too.
Years later my mother apologised for her behaviour at the beginning of our relationship and I really appreciated her gesture.
No comments:
Post a Comment