As the weather warms up women's magazines helpfully include articles entitled 'swimwear for every shape'. This month's gorgeous Australian size 16 model in the Women's Weekly says: "Size and cut is key. A suit that is too small creates lumps and bumps; one that's too big makes things look droopy. Look for a suit that doesn't cut in anywhere and supports your curves."
Good advice indeed. However, an ill fitting swimsuit doesn't especially create lumps and bumps or make me look droopy. I do it all by myself! I bought myself some 'shapewear' at one stage. A garment a bit like swimmers with legs. The idea is that your lumps and bumps somehow get smoothed out so your 'silhouette' is improved.
After I had wriggled and writhed myself into the garment I looked somehow like a well fed silkworm. Rather than a multitude of smallish lumps and bumps they had been amalgamated into several large undulating rolls. Also, the the excess, which didn't fit into the 'shapewear' was forced up and out. Ghastly! Not for me. Does anyone want a size large sausage-like tube with legs? It lives in my underwear drawer and will eventually works its way to a charity bin.
Getting back to swimmers......I have two pairs. Nice sensible numbers that haven't been near water in ages. My friends and I have swimwear discussions nearly every year at about this time. Oh the agony of the changeroom and overhead lights! We choose swimmers, try them on and then abandon them in despair deciding that the sensible old pair at home will do for this year at least until we have extensive liposuction and lose about 20kg.
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