Photos

On Saturday night at the 'Rock your Frock' fundraiser my daughter and I had our photo taken by a photographer from the local Canberra free newspaper 'City News'. It appeared in today's edition. All I can say is "erk!". My husband said that he thought it was a lovely picture and what was I talking about.

It made me think about perception of self. I look much better inside my head than on the outside! One day I was was in a department store, wondered if I knew the cranky old woman coming towards me when I realised it was me approaching a mirror! What a shock! If I'm going to put on some lipstick and have to look in a mirror I'm prepared and the 'inside my head' person is there. Photos don't do that - they tell the truth ( unless you are airbrushed into submission if you are a model or movie star). It is a shock when you see yourself as the world sees you when you are older.

At Clitheroe a former actress who's heyday was in the 1930s lived on the floor directly above our flat. She had been absolutely glamorous. The flat was full of photos of her along with a plaster of Paris cast of her beautiful hands which was displayed on the baby grand piano.

At some occasion all the residents of the flats had been together and a group photo was taken. When this lady looked at the photo she refused to believe that she was in the picture. "That's NOT me" she exclaimed and refused to look at it again. I now know where she was coming from!

Is this vanity? I guess it is. My mother always used to tell me I was plain so I wouldn't become vain and get a swollen head. I believed her but when I now look at photos taken years ago I realise I was quite attractive and am a bit sad that I couldn't appreciate it at the time. I wish I looked like that now- wouldn't that be great.

I shouldn't grumble. At least everything works, sort of, and if I manage to survive another 20 years and look at today's photo then, I'll probably think I looked fabulous.